Supporting Children in Grief for Clinicians: Early Childhood
How to support children 0 to 5 years of age who are grieving.
We hear a lot from folks about how they don’t know what to say or do for kids and teens when someone has died. Many folks are also unsure if a child is grieving “right.” Check out the tips below that can help you gain a better understanding of what grief looks like for children 0 to 5 years of age, what you can say to them to help, and how their grief looks different than an adult’s.
Common Grief Reactions
- Child will respond to family’s reactions
- Understand that changes will happen as the child gains more language (going from pre-verbal to verbal)
- Pre-verbal reactions may be expressed in the body
- Repetitive questions and behaviors are common
Appropriate ways to speak with a grieving child
- Label emotions as the child gains more language (i.e. I feel sad, I’m glad)
- Think of the little one’s behavior as communication
- Be honest, and use child-friendly language
- Younger children may believe that loss is somehow their fault; let them know it is not
- It’s okay if you don’t always have the answer
Activities
- Parent/child dyad activities
- Reading age-appropriate books about loss
- Feelings identification, such as matching feelings words with an action
- Model healthy expression of emotions
Things to Remember
- Children’s grief is informed by one’s culture, religion, and race
- Maintain a level of curiosity with the child’s experience in grief
- There are no “5 Stages”; grief is a non-linear process
- Grief and grieving changes over time
Get the guide on understanding of what grief looks like, what you can say to a child to help, and how a child’s grief looks different than an adult’s.
Download the Guide (PDF)Resources for All New Yorkers
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