Resources

Supporting Children in Grief for Clinicians: Littles

How to support children 5 to 8 years of age who are grieving.

We hear a lot from folks about how they don’t know what to say or do for kids and teens when someone has died. Many folks are also unsure if a child is grieving “right.” Check out the tips below that can help you gain a better understanding of what grief looks like for children 5 to 8 years of age, what you can say to them to help, and how their grief looks different than an adult’s.

Common Grief Reactions

Young children grieve in short spurts or “pediatric doses”
Transitioning into understanding the finality of death (5-7 yrs)
It is ok for a child to look to parents/caregivers’ reactions to grief
May have somatic complaints (more visits to the nurse), regression, or trouble sleeping
May wish to stay busy and/or do things that the deceased person wanted them to do in order to make them proud

Appropriate ways to speak with a grieving child

Label/validate whatever emotions they are having
Remember that behavior IS communication for you and the child
Use clear and concise, age-appropriate language
It’s okay if you don’t always have the answer
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

Activities

Draw—your feelings, a memory, or a wish
Create a memory box/book/poster
Read books together and answer questions
Celebrate their loved one by eating a food that they liked, listening to music that they enjoyed, or doing an activity they liked, together

Things to Remember

Children’s grief is informed by culture, religion, and race
Maintain a level of curiosity with the child’s experience in grief
There are no “5 Stages”; grief is a non-linear process
Grief and grieving changes over time

Share Our Guide

Get the guide on understanding of what grief looks like, what you can say to a child to help, and how a child’s grief looks different than an adult’s.

Download the Guide (PDF)

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