Resources

Supporting Children in Grief: Teens

How to support children 13 to 18 years of age who are grieving.

We hear a lot from folks about how they don’t know what to say or do for kids and teens when someone has died. Many folks are also unsure if a child is grieving “right.” Check out the tips below that can help you gain a better understanding of what grief looks like for children 13 to 18 years of age, what you can say to them to help, and how their grief looks different than an adult’s.

Common Grief Reactions

Teens may question their identity after the death, and can be confused by how grief makes them feel
Teens may look to friend groups to decide if what they’re feeling is okay
To avoid “upsetting” adults, they may keep quiet and to themselves
Isolation may be a grief reaction at this age
A fantasy that one could be with the person who died again is a common and normal grief reaction that does not necessarily mean your child wishes to die
Teens can be impacted by new responsibilities
May remain numb in order to keep functioning as usual
Can be tired or restless, have difficulty concentrating, or other aches and pains

Appropriate ways to speak with your child

Offer non-judgmental comfort and support
Answer big questions with honesty
Listen more than you speak
Try not to say “I know how you feel” or statements with “at least”
Leave time for thinking, and also check-in

Activities

Journal feelings
Plan together ways to honor the memory of their loved one
Create a memory box/book/poster
Write a letter to the person who died
Celebrate their loved one by eating a food that they liked, listening to music they enjoyed, or doing an activity they liked, together

Things to Remember

Children’s grief is based on one’s culture, religion, and race
Maintain a level of curiosity with your child’s experience in grief
There are no set stages; grief doesn’t happen in any special order
Grief and grieving changes over time
Reach out to a professional if you or your child needs support

Share Our Guide

Get the guide on understanding of what grief looks like, what you can say to a child to help, and how a child’s grief looks different than an adult’s.

Download the Guide (PDF)

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