Supporting Children in Grief: Littles
How to support children 5 to 8 years of age who are grieving.
We hear a lot from folks about how they don’t know what to say or do for kids and teens when someone has died. Many folks are also unsure if a child is grieving “right.” Check out the tips below that can help you gain a better understanding of what grief looks like for children 5 to 8 years of age, what you can say to them to help, and how their grief looks different than an adult’s.
Common Grief Reactions
- Young children grieve in short spurts
- Younger children don’t always understand death is final (5-7 yrs)
- It is ok for your child to look to your/family’s reactions to grief
- May talk about pains in their body (more visits to the nurse), or trouble sleeping
- May wish to stay busy and/or do things that the person who died wanted them to do in order to make them proud
Appropriate ways to speak with your child
- Name whatever emotions they’re having without judgment
- Behavior IS communication for you and your child
- Use clear and simple language
- It’s okay if you don’t always have the answer
- HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
Activities
- Draw—feelings, a memory, or a wish
- Create a memory box/book/poster
- Read books together and answer questions
- Celebrate your loved one by eating a food that they liked, listening to music that they enjoyed, or doing an activity they liked, together
Things to Remember
- Children’s grief is based on one’s culture, religion, and race
- Maintain a level of curiosity with your child’s experience in grief
- There are no set stages; grief doesn’t happen in any special order
- Grief and grieving changes over time
- Reach out to a professional if you or your child needs support
Get the guide on understanding of what grief looks like, what you can say to a child to help, and how a child’s grief looks different than an adult’s.
Download the Guide (PDF)Resources for All New Yorkers
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